Hoarders and toddlers are the same.

Its true, they are. My kids could not play with a toy and literally not give a shit about it for months or YEARS but if one sees the other touch it or sees me attempt to throw it away they have a desperate meltdown in attempt to keep their treasure. Why?! Do you want my house to be in a constant state of clutter and embarrassment? Do you think that broken buzz lightyear is going to come back to life, repair his smashed arm and save the universe? No. neither of those things are going to happen.

How do people keep their homes looking like adults live in them? Am I the only one lost amongst a sea of Cars and Littlest Pet shops? Will I regain my kingdom and once again reign supreme?? 

Am I raising brats?

I love my kids to pieces but days like this make me really wonder what my life is going to be like for the next 16 years or so.

Why can't they get along? Why can't they fulfill my unrealistic ideas i had when i was pregnant with the oldest? I had dreams of a TV free living room, a beautiful clutter free home, family photos on the walls where we are all smiling... instead, there isn't a moment in my day when i dont slightly depend on the tv to assist in distracting one of my kids, my house, LOL! lets not get into that one, family photos? do we count the ones i take with my webcam where everyone except me is topless? no? dang. SOL on that one too!

I realize life isn't perfect with kids, i never wanted it to be. Can i have a day without tylenol? Can I have fancy art instead of marker master pieces on my walls? *sigh*

Thankfully, I'm not alone. There are other parents out there feeling as stranded as I am. Someday i will treat them all to jager bombs and karaoke.


Will they ever share? Will I eventually retire my saying "Don't hit your sister again!!"? Will I ever not suffer with massive foot pain from stepping on a littlest pet shop in the middle of the night? There has to be hope out there, right?

Someone give me a striped shirt.

I feel like a referee.

It seems at this stage in toddler-hood my children have no interest in being friendly with each other. in fact, the only time they "communicate" is when they are grabbing shit from each other, fighting over whatever piece of shit toy neither of them give a flying fuck about or are shoving each other in an effort to get a step ahead of the other one.

I swear right now i say "STOP HITTING YOUR SISTER"  and "I SWEAR TO GOD THE NEXT PERSON WHO WHINES IS...." more often than anything else.

Im willing to admit that sometimes i want to run away. who wouldn't? these 2 people i love more than anything in this world seem to hate each other with a fiery passion. the term "fight like cats and dogs" should be replaced with "fight like J and L."

You can't choose who knocks you up.

But you can choose who you marry.

in this article* written by heather clouse she decides to dissect the inner workings of young military marriages. To which i maturely reply YOU DON'T KNOW ME!

Is it just me or do we only live once? If you fall in love and have the urge to marry that person, don't you think you should? Sure sure I fully understand that marriage isn't just playing house but its also blah blah blah grown up stuff. cool-beans, right? Isn't all that grown up stuff a learning process? isn't learning much fun when you have a partner? I think it is.

Also, Don't you think an article written about MILITARY MARRIAGES would be better comprehended by someone who is maybe, MILITARY or MARRIED?

I do agree, Marriage is a lot more than love. But its also a lot of love. its a lot of growth, its a lot of struggles and its a lot of learning to deal with someone else's bullshit. if you are willing to go through that with someone, go for it. life is too short to wonder "what if."

Don't be afraid to love. If its not meant to be, thats OK! divorce isn't a death sentence.


*Also, If you decide to be a journalist, Please learn what spell check is. You're embarrassing yourself.